[Animal Boything]

Also:

-The only good film directors are left-handed.
-Good films are only released on prime-numbered days.
-All the good actors eat on screen.
-Close-up shots of anything inorganic are a surefire mark of poor cinematography.
-Widescreen movies suck.
-Static camerawork is the only good camerawork. Pans, zooms, and handheld shots are the work of idiots.
-Credits that roll with images in the background ruin the whole movie. Credits must be against a blank background. Non-scrolling credits are an eysore.
-Good movies always list the cast in reverse alphabetical order, by names of characters.
-The only good movie scores are played on solo fiddles. Songs in movies MUST NOT contain words.
-Sets in good movies always have blue walls.
-Movies with evergreen trees in them suck.
-There has not been a good movie made since 1979.
-Black and white movies don't count as real movies. I mean, who watches that shit? You can't even tell if the walls are blue.

I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE